Severus Snape's Terrible, No Good, Very Bad Day
by LaNay Deann
Summary: OneShot All Severus wants is to spend a beautiful spring afternoon studying and maybe grab the attention of the young Ravenclaw he's fancied since first year. What happens when James Potter and Sirius Black pull the prank that officially becomes 'one too


**Disclaimer:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

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**Severus Snape's Terrible, No Good, Very Bad Day **

Severus sat alone, at the end of the Slytherin table, pretending to be consumed in his potions book while keeping one eye fixed upon the entrance of the Great Hall. He had been of the first to leave the Slytherin common room that morning, while most of the students had taken advantage of their Saturday to sleep in. Severus, who very rarely slept anyway, was determined to make it through most of his breakfast with some peace and quiet. He was already on his second bowl of porridge when the other students began to file in, and each time he caught a glimpse of blue or bronze, his head jerked up hopefully.

By the fifth or sixth group of Ravenclaw students to walk in, the surrounding Slytherins were beginning to take great interest in watching Severus's face fall with disappointment. They all knew who he was waiting for—thanks to Regulus Black—and it had become their favorite source of entertainment that week. No one said anything out loud as they snickered under their breath, which to Severus was more humiliating than the usual taunts he received.

The fact that Severus Snape was infatuated with Diana Cox was not even worth the ridicule.

Moments later the Slytherin table fell silent, and all eyes fell on Severus with mischievous glee. He had just started eating again, but stopped in mid-bite, holding his spoon above his bowl, looking as though he had been Petrified. Some people began to laugh. Severus realized then that after leaving him in the library the night before Regulus must have confirmed to the rest of the house (who no doubt would tell the rest of the school) what they most likely had already suspected. Yet Severus found that at this moment he hardly cared, for Diana had at last walked in.

She was surrounded by her usual mob of friends and as they made their way toward their own table, they passed by the Slytherins', giving them each a distrustful look. Most Ravenclaw girls never gave any Slytherin boys a second thought and this had been most especially the case with Severus. Each pair of eyes that lingered on his pallid skin and hooked nose did not do so out of admiration. They leered at him with disgust, for even if Diana knew little of Severus's existence; they were most certainly aware of it and were not keen on the idea of someone like him fancying her.

Of course, this was no different than any other breakfast that Severus had endured over the past five years at Hogwarts, and yet, something felt oddly out of place. It could have been the unnerving silence coming from the other Slytherins as they waited for the inevitable embarrassment, but Severus knew at once that it had nothing to do with them. It was Diana. Instead of chatting excitedly, passing by the table as if it were not even there and admiring the beauty of the Great Hall's ceiling as she did every other morning, she was acting most peculiarly. Her pace was slow; she was not even talking and most unusual of all…she was looking right at Severus.

He watched as her eyes remained locked with his and a slow smile spread across her face. He did not know what to do and was now humiliatingly aware that his spoon was hovering in front of his gaping mouth. Severus snapped it shut and dropped the spoon, but with such force that it turned the bowl of porridge directly into his lap. Diana's smile vanished as the Slytherin table erupted with laughter. Other students from other houses looked over at the commotion and Severus immediately recognized four very specific chortling voices coming from the Gryffindor table. His already pale face whitened as he rummaged in the pockets of his now soiled robes for his wand. Diana, very red in the cheeks, hurried away with her giggling friends without saying a word and sat at the Ravenclaw table with her back to Severus.

'_Scourgify'_ he thought miserably as he aimed his wand toward his lap.

The porridge disappeared while the laughter roared on, and all Severus could do was pull his potions book in front of him. He could not bring himself to get up and walk out of the Great Hall, feeling that the students would only laugh harder if he did.

All the same, Severus felt a surge of hopefulness as his eyes wandered over to the Ravenclaw table a few moments later. Diana's friends were eating, chatting away, as if nothing had happened. Diana, however, sat quietly eating a few pieces of toast and stealing careful looks over her shoulder.

As breakfast came to a close, the majority of the students decided to spend the rest of the morning outdoors, enjoying the beautiful spring weather. Severus remained rooted in his seat, hunched over his book and forcing himself to concentrate. He could not believe that Diana had actually smiled at him; and even when he made a fool of himself because of it, she had not laughed. Did this gesture hold some sort of symbolic meaning? Severus was not in practice of having people smile at him; he had no idea what it meant or what possible action she might expect him to take. He had known her since they were first year students and could not bring himself to deny that he had probably been in love with her from the first moment he saw her pass by his compartment window on the Hogwarts Express. She had only ever spoken to him once, congratulating him on being the only O.W.L Potions student to successfully brew the Draught of Living Death. These were not landmark moments, but they had fueled his desire to know her better nonetheless. But today—was today different? Did her smile possess a similar desire? As impossible as it seemed, Severus could think of no other explanation.

Nor could he think of any other reason for her to stay behind in the Great Hall, even after her friends insisted that she go with them to the Quidditch pitch and watch the Ravenclaw team practice. She was not usually one to waste a beautiful day indoors, poring over Muggle fashion magazines. Yet there she sat, every once and awhile making notes on scrap pieces of parchment. Severus worked desperately for another twenty minutes to work up the nerve to go and speak to her. He knew that there must be a believable reason, outside of the truth, to approach her. Perhaps he could ask to borrow a quill or a piece of parchment…

Then suddenly the air was zapped out of his lungs and his entire body went numb. He felt his mouth hang open as he watched in complete and utter horror as Sirius Black and James Potter approached the Ravenclaw table. Potter remained standing, surveying the Great Hall with avid curiosity, but Black sat down as close to Diana as possible. He lifted his arm and slid it across Diana's shoulder as a sly grin appeared across his chiseled face.

Severus's rage flew to its end and he stood up.

He moved away quickly, vaguely aware that the remaining Slytherin students at the table were watching him again—including Regulus Black.

Potter saw Severus coming first and moved toward him.

"Snape…"

"Out of my way Potter," Severus seethed, pushing past him with no trouble at all. His long greasy hair fell into his face, but he did not stop moving until he reached the table. Black stood up immediately. Diana stared at them, glancing nervously over her shoulder for any sign of a teacher.

"Something wrong, Snivelly?" Black asked. "Don't like me sitting next to your little girlfriend, do you? It's too bad though. You should have kept it a better secret, then."

Severus glared at him unable to say anything in retort, feeling as though someone had doused him with ice-cold water. Black and Potter had done this on purpose, merely to get a rise out of Severus; and as he glanced around at the students who were left in the Great Hall, all of which were watching closely, he realized that they had succeeded. He looked like an absolute fool, having approached the table for no real reason.

"Lost your tongue?" Black asked laughing.

Severus swallowed and looked down at Diana who now paid no attention to anyone except him. He only hoped that this moment was worth every ounce of embarrassment that now pumped through his veins.

"I think he may have poisoned himself or something," Potter said causing everyone around them to start laughing.

"Been lurking around in the Dark Arts too long eh, Snivelly," Black added.

"They tend to cause people to make all sorts of assumptions, don't they?" Potter laughed.

"Right, and we all know what the first three letters of assumption spell."

The laughter roared throughout the Great Hall and a moment later Severus had pulled out his wand, his eyes repugnantly narrow.

Potter and Black took only seconds to dig in their robes for theirs as well. Diana gasped and clamored to her feet just as the three boys took aim.

"_Stupe—"_

_"Expeli—"_

"Petrif—" 

"WHAT IN MERLIN'S NAME IS GOING ON HERE?"

Professor McGonagall's voice ripped through the hall just so quickly that neither Potter, Black or Severus could finish their incantations. The laughter surrounding them died a second later as McGonagall stalked up to them, her face boiling red with anger.

"Dueling in the Great Hall? What on earth possessed each of you to think you could get away with it?" she asked hotly.

"Well…" Black started.

"I don't want to hear it!" McGonagall snapped. "Twenty points will be taken each—don't make that face Mr. Black or I will make it fifty—and all three of you will serve detention."

No one said anything.

"Now back to your appropriate tables, the lot of you!" McGonagall said. "If you're to remain indoors to study, that is what you will do!"

Severus's eyes flashed over to Black and Potter once more; all three of them eyed one another contemptuously.

"Go!" McGonagall barked.

Severus turned quickly on his heel and made his way back to the Slytherin table, muttering that one day he would make them pay.

Sitting back down, Severus pulled the potions book in front of him once more along with his quill. Now that McGonagall was strolling up and down in between each house table, he felt sure that he would be able to get some work done.

He had only spent five or ten minutes reading through the steps on how to brew the Felix Felicis potion, and making his own corrections when he heard a soft voice utter a shy hello. Severus was concentrating so hard that it was only after a second hello that he looked up, startled to see that Diana was now sitting across from him. He nearly upended his bottle of ink as his hand flew to his hair in an attempt to pull it from his face.

"Er…hello," he said softly.

"We've got Potions together haven't we," she said pleasantly.

She smiled at him again and his eyes flew in several different directions. He wanted to be ready for when Potter and Black jumped out at him from wherever it was they were hiding. It did not even surprise him that Diana was in on it this time.

She looked at him carefully.

"Are you all right?" she asked.

He looked at her again and nodded curtly.

"Fine. Yes to answer your question…we have Potions together."

He went back to his book and slammed it shut, hoping that she would signal Potter and Black to get the joke over with; he was not sure how much more he could take.

"What book is that?" she asked, leaning toward him, craning her neck in order to read it right side up. "_Advanced Potion Making_."

"It's the N.E.W.T level book," he said unable to keep himself from walking further into the prank. He knew he should have kept his mouth shut, but he could not help himself.

Diana's smile widened.

"I expect you'll get into that class without any problem," she said. "Slughorn can't stop going on about you. Unlike me, who will most likely fail all my O.W.L's miserably and be forced to stay at Hogwarts for the rest of my life."

Severus stared at her, vaguely aware that people were watching them. He could feel his heart beating rapidly in his chest, his brain tingling with a dozen different hexes he could throw at Potter and Black once they revealed themselves, but all he really felt like concentrating on was how to properly offer to tutor her without sounding completely unlike himself. Was it possible, he wondered, for one person to completely transform another's character with something as simple as a smile?

"I…er…I," he stammered.

Her brow jumped with concern.

"Are you sure you're all right?" she asked. "I'm sorry to go on about myself like that, or if I've embarrassed you or anything. I just felt bad about Sirius and James egging you on like that."

Severus lowered his eyes, unable to understand why it bothered him so much to hear her speak their names so casually.

"You didn't," he said softly. "Embarrass me, I mean."

"They were acting like wankers," she whispered and started giggling as though not accustomed to using such a term.

Severus smiled ever so slightly, but promptly forced it back into a frown, hoping that no one around them could see.

"It's what they're best at," he said softly and she giggled again.

He fought another smile and stared at the table as silence fell between them.

"So…" Diana said after another moment, "are you going to Hogsmeade next weekend? It will be the last trip of the year."

Severus blinked and looked at her.

"Er…I don't normally go."

"I know."

"You know? What do you mean, _you know_?" he asked not meaning to sound so defensive; he could not help it, it was a habit by now.

"Well to be perfectly honest, Sirius asked me to go and I'm terrible at saying no to people. I don't particularly want to go with him at all you see, and well…I thought I might take advantage of the opportunity to get out of it by telling him I was going with someone else," Diana said.

"You're going with _him_?" Severus asked, his temper igniting.

She smiled and shrugged her shoulders coyly.

"Actually I was sort of wondering if _you_ would like to go with me."

Severus blinked again and his face grew hot.

"Me…you want me to go…with you?"

She nodded looking extremely nervous, sliding a piece of her raven colored hair behind her ear.

Severus did not know why, but when she did that, something snapped inside of him. He knew that that must have been the signal he had been waiting for. The moment Severus gave his answer Black and Potter would pop up—most likely reinforced with Lupin and Pettigrew—and level the ultimate humiliation with Diana at their side. There was no way she meant to go with Severus to Hogsmeade; no one—not even Severus himself—would ever believe otherwise.

"Why are _you_ doing this to me?" Severus asked getting to his feet and stuffing everything within sight into his bag.

"What?" Diana asked watching bemused as he began to gather his things.

"Of course, I'm the stupid one," he said tossing his laden bag over his shoulder. "I thought that perhaps you might have been different from them. I had hoped that you wouldn't sink so low as to accompany them in their pranks. Apparently I was wrong."

Severus did not give her a chance to respond as he stormed from the Great Hall and down the corridor, heading directly for the dungeons; the only sanctuary he had. He nearly flew down the stairs leading into the depths of the castle, but came to a startling halt as the all too familiar sounds of Black's laugh came wafting from somewhere in the back of the corridor.

"You missed quite a show in the Great Hall, Mooney, and a bloody good opportunity to land us in detention," Potter said. "Pity McGonagall beat you to it."

"Doubtful that he would have given it to us anyway. I'd like to see him turn us in, just once," Black snorted.

"Padfoot, you're talking about me like I'm not even here," came Lupin's voice. "Besides, isn't aggravating Severus getting a bit old?"

"Not at all," Black said gleefully.

"But seriously, next time you decide to come all the way down to the dungeons to study, let us know first. We've been all over the castle after you for nearly fifteen minutes now…_professor_," Potter teased.

Severus nearly dropped his bag as he continued to listen. Had they not been in the Great Hall all this time waiting to pounce at him? No, he realized, they could not have been. There was only one way to get to the dungeons and Severus had just come directly from the Great Hall. He would have surely seen them pass, and they would not have been able to find Lupin or retell their triumphant story so quickly.

A lump formed in Severus's throat as he thought about the look Diana had gotten on her face as he told her off. She really had been asking him to Hogsmeade!

"Bloody effing hell…" he muttered, jumping startled as the three Gryffindors rounded the corner.

Potter and Black burst out laughing as they began to reiterate how foolish Severus had looked approaching the Ravenclaw table.

"Still silent, eh, Snivellus?" Black laughed. "Surely being as smart as you are, you can find the counter curse to the Silencing Charm."

"If not, just ask the professor here," Potter said motioning to Lupin. "He seems to pity you. For what reasons, we'll never know."

Severus stared at them as they passed by, waiting for the moment they divulged that it truly had been them urging Diana to talk to Severus, just to torture him. After all, they were arrogant enough to boast about each and every other conquest they had made over him, why would they stop now?

But they did not boast. Instead they carried on up the stairs, wondering out loud where Wormtail might have gotten off to. The lump in Severus's throat now turned into a choking knot. He could not believe that he had managed to make a complete fool of himself with no help from Potter or Black. He continued down to the bottom of the stairs and into an empty classroom. He heaved his bag onto the ground and stared numbly out of the window. He felt like screaming, most especially at the thought of Diana going with Black to Hogsmeade the following week. There was no way he would ever be able to explain any of this to her without looking like an even bigger idiot, and he was certain that there was little chance of her listening anyway. He had destroyed the only chance he had ever been given with her, and ironically at his own hand.

Realizing that he had fallen victim to one too many of the Marauders' pranks was more humiliating than anything else they could dream to do to him.

Yes, this was most assuredly the worst day of Severus Snape's life.

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Please review. If you're interested in seeing what becomes of Diana and Snape, then continue reading my chaptered fic, Careful Where You Stand: The Light


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